#Yelling into the void for elliot
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hey. Hey elliot. Are you @/sp-ud. Are you. Are you that person.
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Ik the video is 7 years old but I am begging 2 the universe 2 ask m. bulteau 2 put bone klezmer on spotify
#/i need 2 put it on every playlist/#i found it legit when it came out and OUGH its been in my brain forever#its the only way i remember bonetrousle now#also the cover art is delightful#anyway#i am yelling in2 the void but i need ppl to know how this cover has rooted itself in2 my brain 4 eternity#elliot rambles
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My dog stole my spot 😡 but he looks so presh and he's so tired from no sleep the last two nights...
#nobdoy yelling into the void#onyx elliot#this is a terrible pic but like#look at him sleeping#hes a hot mess#it's not like I'm sleeping anyway
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Since you're taking questions! It's never explicitly answered in the Wide Orbit, but Alex implies that she was aware that she was sexually/romantically attracted to Olivia before she left for witness protection. What's your headcanon about that?
You're delighting me with the opportunity to talk so much about this fic <333 I wish I had a full-fledged story for you here based in textual evidence, but it's really just vibes. I think both Alex and Olivia are bi, that Olivia's a little (okay, a lot) more oblivious about it than Alex is (for Reasons, multiple), that Alex was like "huh that's a thing!" about S2-3 Liv in particular and was possibly even casually waiting Olivia's self-realization out and idly thinking about making a move before everything got much, much more intense in Loss.
What I also find interesting about their relationship is that before Loss, you (okay, I) don't really get much of a sense of closeness between them. Like they're friends who want to (sub)consciously rip each other's clothes off but their reactions to/at each other at the end of that ep? The violence that forced them apart did a thing of actually bringing them much closer together emotionally. They've been through a thing with each other! That trauma lives in their bones now! And I think a large part of Olivia's very very very good face and voice at the end of Loss is the crashing wave of her realizing that on some level, even if she doesn't know it yet in her brain. Her body does for sure. Her heart does. Alex understands it, but what does it matter? She just lost her entire life. It's not something she can afford to dwell on.
And as for what comes after... I think I've yelled enough about Alex Cabot's self-assigned sisyphean task of trying to become Alex Cabot again post-witness protection and the ways it hurts her, as well as Olivia's sudden ability/pressing need to find some structure in the sudden void Elliot leaves in her life in S13, you get me. <3
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this post is literally just me ranting about my own gender experience/questioning as an afab person.
(despite all the cws and tws, it's really not that overwhelmingly negative-- moreso just yelling my confusion into the void lol. i'm just really paranoid abt accidentally ruining someone's day by not tagging smth, hence the literal max 30 tags.)
you can read it if you want but if not,, understandable lol. either way, enjoy this picture of a quokka that i got by googling "cute animal":
...ok.
figuring out ur gender as an afab person is so weird, cuz it's like:
am I uncomfortable w my tits (always have been) for Gender Reasons, or is it the societal conditioning that they're sex objects/will make ME be viewed as a sex object if they're "too noticeable"?
is the visceral discomfort that I've always had (literally since childhood) at even the THOUGHT of having a period a Gender Thing, or is it the societal taboo that makes it impossible to speak/think about it?
do I like the idea of being perceived as masc for Gender Reasons, or bc I know it will make people take me more seriously and make me less of a target for abuse/harassment?
do I feel like a boy in disguise/an imposter when surrounded by other women/in female spaces bc I actually am more masc in my actual gender, or because gender roles and their "boyish interests/presentation" and "girly interests/presentation" have been so ingrained in me that it feels like if I don't match up with That Exact Image of being a very femme woman, then clearly I'm just not a woman at all? (/s for that last phrase)
(A more specific/personalized addendum to that last one: I've got a sister and we both did a lot of performing arts stuff VERY frequently growing up, especially as a duo, and whenever the roles were a boy and girl (which wasn't most of the time but still happened fairly regularly), I'd always be the boy bc she was more femme than me & always wanted to be the girl, whereas i didn't really care-- so like, was that because I'm inherently more comfortable as a more masc person? Or did I just not care either way at the time cuz I was a damn kid just having fun playing a role, and now from years and years and YEARS of doing that I've just conditioned myself into thinking of myself as "the guy one" when paired with a woman/surrounded by women??????)
And THEN for me personally, you throw in the fact that both Nate/ND Stevenson (creator of the first show that ever made me feel Seen as a queer person, to the extent that it broke my brain a little) and Elliot Page (right after/while playing his Umbrella Academy character, who was the only "female" character I've EVER felt I could truly relate to in such a full, overwhelming extent for some reason I couldn't name, and whom my friends at the time literally said "had big [my name] energy," without having been told anything about my feelings at all) BOTH came out as transmasc. So it's like,, am i transmasc? All Signs Point To Yes, pretty much. And I distinctly prefer when my tits are squished firmly against my chest, which sounds a whole hell of a lot like chest dysphoria.
...Except that when I got a binder to try it out, threw a hoodie on over it, and looked in the mirror, it was just like,, weird. And a minute or so later when I caught my reflection in the mirror out the corner of my eye without thinking and my brain automatically perceived my chest as like, FLAT flat for the first time, it pretty much shouted "WRONG WRONG WRONG" and started clanging pots and pans until I took it off.
But, irl my nickname is a typically "male" short-hand (as in, someone reading it would assume it's a guy 99.9999% of the time) of my (feminine) name, and I much prefer it. So like I guess I'm just generically nonbinary... but I also really don't want to say that I'm not a woman? But that reluctance could just be reluctance at relinquishing what makes me "valuable" in society's eyes, or in accepting that I've "failed" to be what I was "supposed" to be. Or in losing my ability to "speak authentically" about things like sexism, even though I Know Full Well that that's not how that works, like, at all. So it's just... ????????????????????
The only thing I have been able to figure out is that I definitely want to be more buff and athletic, and definitely make my body at least a little more masc in that regard. So like, Buff Sword Lady definitely, at least. (I do quite enjoy swords. A lot.) So maybe I just want to be butch?
But I don't look like that yet, and it's so hard to figure this kind of thing out without actually being able to physically see yourself that way, without being able to actually feel it first-hand and compare. So I'm just, like, here, a fantasy writer doing muscle work-outs alone in my room every day, hoping that micro-dosing on jock culture will help me finally feel Right lmao.
#cw gender dysphoria#rant#cw body image#cw body talk#cw body dysmorphia#cw body dysphoria#cw sex talk#look y'all id rather be safe than sorry idc how many tags it takes#tw body image#tw body dysmorphia#tw gender dysphoria#tw body dysphoria#*ferris bueller voice* you're still here? it's over. go home.#you don't have to read these tags lol it's just cws and tws from here on out#tw body insecurity#tw body mention#tw sexism#cw sexism#cw periods#tw periods#cw menstruation#tw menstruation#transmasc#nonbinary#genderqueer#gender#sword lady#egg cracking? nah y'all I'm just making an omelet *sweating profusely*#gender rambles#don't even get me STARTED on the financial cost of getting buff/working out efficiently cuz that shit is ridiculous
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GUYS IF ANYONE HAD VIKTOR (UA) AS THEIR PFP ON NETFLIX, ITS FINALLY CHANGED TO ACTUALLY LOOK LIKE HIM!!!
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Kid: can't try in school because of undiagnosed mental disorder or depression
School: I diagnose you with ΔPΔŦĦ€ŦIĆ
#elliot yells into the void once again#i have school tomorrow#undiagnosed adhd#undiagnosed autism#adhd#autism
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how to come to terms with the fact that i will not always be perfect at everything and i may in fact be bad at things sometimes,,,, not everything i do actually matters that much
#I work at the fucking grocery store why am I having a panic attack abt this#it’s so stressful for no reason and I know I messed some things up I don’t have to cry abt it like??? it doesn’t fucking matter babe get#your shit together…… like I don’t even care if I get fired I’m just like. I have to be the best at everything I do all the time and follow#all the rules to a T and if I mess up my entire little fucking world crumbles and it’s EXHAUSTING I hate it why can’t I just care a normal#amount abt things that literally don’t FUCKING MATTER#elliot should shut up challenge#I think the psychiatrist who diagnosed me w/ ocd might’ve been right actually dbsksbxkdbsk this is overwhelming <3#could also be rsd. although the ocd meds did work for me while I was on them so like. who knows maybe I should ask for them back lmao#rn I’m having a goddamn panic attack abt the fact that i may have accidentally told one of the managers that I didn’t get trained for#something when I did actually even though I’m pretty sure I told them that I did and like. it literally doesn’t even fucking matter but my#skin is still crawling also I scratched the shit out of it at work so now it hurts <3 I had like 3 customers yell at me and I had to go to#my car to cry lmao uhhh also I accidentally threw out a void instead of putting it in the basket and it’s making me feel physically ill when#it literally doesn’t matter at all#vent post
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I’ve reread the entirety of the pandora hearts manga again and I’m so fucking emotional about elliot nightray
#yelling into the void#ELLIOT YOU DESERVE ALL THE GOOD THINGS#this manga FUCKS ME UP EVERY TIME#it's SO GOOD but also SO PAINFUL#I just need to buy the last few volumes and then I own the complete set#anyhow I'm about to spam reblog a bunch of pandora hearts content#(mostly elliot content)
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cracking my knuckles so i can sucker punch a certain someone/silly
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Stop you're giving BL/ind ideas
My favorite thing about Thomas the Tank Engine is that it canonically takes place in a train post-apocalypse where the Island of Sodor is the only safe zone in a totalitarian dystopia in which steam trains are routinely killed and their body parts are sold or cannibalized for repair
If you think I’m kidding you need to read the original books
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↳ High as Hope 1/10 Yᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴀꜰʀɪᴀᴅ.
#plz click bc these are massive#and goood god that last one took#for ever#p much every section of their bodies#has been rearranged or substituted#at least im getting better at it asdja#(yes nols ear clip is on the wrong ear twice dont yell at me)#i didnt feel like editing it in or out lol#i hope these colors arent too obnoxious#i stole em from the vid#i should have used a dif pic for the top elliot but#all the extra pics i took were for puppeting#and i forgot the clap one was handy#for more than the dance interwiney hand thing#bri edits#nolanel feran#elliot cadieux#throws self into void#high as hope
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Scenario: Elliot's helpers are tasked with kidnapping their next victim (reader's sister, twin, lookalike) but they mistake reader for the target and reader is terrified doesn't know what to do, why the hell is Elliot here
(Changed it slightly as Elliot doesn't usually go for people that look like you. Tw: slight body horror)
Your head hurts.
Darkness shrouds your field of view; a sweet scent lingering in the air slightly overpowered by a musk similar to spoiled meat. It makes you feel nauseous; heart pounding so loud you can feel each beat through your teeth. What's going on?
A cry for help sits in the back of your throat. Despite most of your senses being shot, you could tell you weren't alone. You focus that energy on trying to remember what happened before this. You were at home, dealing with a cold while your roommate took your shift for the day at work. There was a knock on the door. A woman - begging for help. She insisted that she was being chased and asked to use your phone. You can't recall much after that.
"Hey, I think they're awake. What should we do?." A muffled voice speaks.
"He's across town with the butcher right now. Traffic in the area, so he'll take a minute to get back. Take off the blindfold. I wanna see their eyes one more time."
Another replies. Their voice is scratchy, and oddly familiar. Someone walks over to you. Calloused fingers push the blindfold up. You can feel the stitches on the person's palms as they glide up your face. Eyes adjusting to the dim room light, your first vision back is a tinted eye staring back at you through a red lense. The figure chuckles.
"Good morning, sunshine."
The man wears a black mask with large beady eyes like an insect; gas mask filters stitched into its lower half. He wears a doctor's coat over an old tank top and jeans; his entire body covered in scars and healing wounds - flesh discolored in certain places. There's something wrong with his left arm as he touches your face again. The skin is clammy and the bone beneath feels sharper than normal. Your stomach churns as you see it pull around his bicep, showing pieces of metal beneath.
"You're right. They are rather nice. Shame I'm not in need of one as I have plenty spares currently, but someone would pay a nice penny for them."
"Told you so!" Another figure hops down from a counter. They wears a black mask with a red smile panted across its lips, and a red checkered hoodie over top. The smile has some kind of glow to it; giving their appearance a sort of look that makes it seem like you're looking into a void. A hunting knife is strapped to their chest from the harness over their shoulders. The jacket is familiar, but you distinctly recognize the voice as the woman at your door.
You stare at the two; breathing heard from behind you. "What.. what's going on?"
The woman laughs. "You're gonna be apart of a movie, babe. And I get to be in charge of your makeup before I slit that pretty throat of yours."
"It's nothing personal." The man chimes in. "The director always picks the perfect star for his roles, and the best corpses to harvest. Not that I think about it, it might actually be somewhat personal. Never seen him as angry as when he told us to snatch you. Won't let us touch a hair on you until he gets first cut."
Fear takes hold, but before you can yell for help, a car pulls up outside. It's headlights shine the walls of the shed you were in. The two in front of you look at each other before heading to the door. The woman waves as she exits.
"See ya soon~"
And with that - you're left all alone. Maybe not alone as one might think, as footsteps sound from behind you as they leave. The third party walks in front of you, dressed in black from head to toe. A mesh mask hides their features; hands behind their back. Panic crawls up your spine as they pull them forward; object in grasp. You close your eyes; fearing for the worst - when you hear the sound of a cap.
You open one eye. It's... a water bottle. The figure presses it against your lip, tilting your head so you can drink. You keep your mouth shut, worrying it might be poison, but it's clear they aren't letting you off the hook. As the cool liquid hits your tongue, you realize it's nothing more than water. They wipe the driple off the corners of your lips and return to their spot as the door opens again.
"Tada!"
The two from earlier walk back in; joined by another who's eyes grow wide beneath his pale mask. You recognize the sweater he's wearing. It's the one you bought him on your first date after you spilled a drink on the one he had been wearing.
"E-Elli?"
He remains silent.
"Elliot- what's going in? Who are these people?"
The man turns on his heels, dragging his associates outside. The door rocks back open slightly from the force of which he slams it at. You can see the resulting argument from its crack.
"What the fuck is wrong with you idiots?! You got the wrong person!"
"The fuck are you talking about?" The woman shouts back." You gave us the picture of the one we were supposed to grab and they were were only one home."
"I gave you two pictures. Two! I did it specifically so you wouldn't fuck up if something happened. Their roommate probably took their shift today."
"Who are they to you, by the way? You've never acted like this bef-."
Elliot sends a sharp kick into the other man's abdomen. "Shut up, and go home. We'll talk more later."
The two hurry off as he enters the shed again. Elliot kneels in front of you, undoing the ropes tying you to the chair. He rubs the bruises on your arms, but you pull away.
"What the fuck was that, Elliot?"
He chews on his bottom lip. "A prank. A really fucked up and stupid one, but-"
"You call that a prank?! Are you fucking insane? I thought I was going to die! What could possibly make you think that was a good idea."
"I.... was going to ask you to marry me."
"W..what?"
Elliot offers a half smile. "You know better than anyone that I'm a big fan of horror. My friends were able to get me on board with this stupid idea of staging a kidnapping so I could propose in my own way. I knew how bad it sounded, but I didn't stop anything.
You don't know how to respond; quietly allowing him to take you home so you can rest. Later that night, Elliot sorts through his parent's things for the family engagement ring - hoping some good could possibly come from this night.
#Elliot my oc#yandere slashers#yandere#yandere imagines#yandere scenarios#yandere headcanons#male yandere#yandere blurb#yandere insert#yandere x you#yandere x reader#yandere oc#yandere drabble#yandere x darling#yandere x y/n#yandere writing#yandere fic
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Mr. Robot 3.10 Reaction Post
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
“Find a way to live with yourself”/the other half of this is “find a way to live with each other” it’s okay, it’s okay
“I’m here to remember for you.” FUCK! FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEAH!!!!!!! These unbelievably good siblings!!!!!
Re: this post from over a year ago: “we” can’t help him, we can’t love him. But. The point of the keys being exported isn’t undoing the hack, the point of the keys is that Mr. Robot loves him
Mr. Robot is ridiculous and awful, but he loves Elliot and wants to always be there for him!!!
DOM, my sweet brave girl........you can do it, you can fight them!
It makes sense that she’d blame Darlene.....but please, Darlene has had such a bad time of it for like two and a half seasons.....please let my girl be happy
Oh Angela......please go talk to Elliot and Darlene.....they tried to take care of you
Oh......oh boy, Whiterose’s scene with Grant was genuinely really wrenching......he believes, huh. He believes that she’s going to bring him back.
“WHEEL! *CHOP* OF! *CHOP* FORTUNE!!” OH MY FUCKING GOD
Hang on, Irving is Whiterose’s EX?????????????
What bullshit was Tyrell up to.....he’s always up to some damn bullshit
Who’s that girl Darlene was talking to in the post credits........is she her new girlfriend, wow glad we’ve all agreed on that
Wow I hope Vera gets fucking murdered next season fuck him
#*yells into void*#MR ROBOT LOVES ELLIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#mr robot spoilers#where is your god tonight I hope he is a gentleman
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WHY DO THEY HATE US, WHAT HAVE WE DONE TO THEM??????????
#bloody weagles#i hate them#they're still bitter we came to perth last year and beat them by a point#DEAL WITH IT ASSHOLES#GAME ON NEXT WEEK IDIOTS#WE HATE YOU TOO#WE HATE YOU MORE#YOU STOLE OUR PREMIERSHIP#BASTARDS#me yelling into the void#cos elliot yeo reads my blog#obivously#can't blame him#i would read my blog too if i were him#this is totally a safe space for weagles#shhhh don't tell him my blog hates on weagles
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Pirate Month: The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A (Disapointing) Veggietales Movie Review (Comission for WeirdKev27)
Hello all you happy pirates and welcome back to Pirate Month. I'm Jake, I review media I like, am paid for and ocasionally yell into the void about HBO Max and probably will again.
Today though I continue pirate month , my month long look at pirate media because why not. And today we take another stab with my friend, producer and guy who just sent me a shit ton of books entirely out of the kindness of his heart, Kev.
This isn't the first time it's been time for VeggieTales on this blog either as i've looked at both The Christmas Star aka...
As well as did an arson and went to jail. It.. it was a trip. It's sequel was okay, not nearly as loveably bonkers, but it still had Mr. Nezzer trying to tear down the church like the villian in an 80's kids movie, so.. there's that.
Despite the specials being bonkers it was still nice to go back to a franchise from my childhood, as I do geninely love veggietales and feel it has a place in the world, especailly as it promotes the GOOD of christianity (helping people, being a better person, generally not being a dick) instead of hateful regressive nonsense like homophobia, staying married even if it's miserable, etc. all.
So naturally I was fine with going back there for this flim. It helps the song the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything, which the movie naturally launches from (Along with the three having shown up in the previous movie, Jonah, which i'm now obligatd to cover at some point) is an all time banger.
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And honestly given Larry is one of the main character and Pa Grape and Lunt are often the best parts of the things their in, it's not a huge shock this concept would get a movie even without them anchoring the wrap around for Jonah I forgot existed. So I was always curious about this film even if i'd never seen it. As for my reactoin well
Yeah The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A Veggie Tales Movie: A Rope of Sand isn't great. Is it the WORST thing i've covered? Nope, not even by a wide margin. I'v ehad to deal with the racist, sexist , egotist known as Billy Butcher (Comics version, havne't seen prime, you Boys TV fans can relax), seen wolverine get shot in the nuts, seen gonzo get horny over a cgi chicken, and seen a dog transphobically vomit for 37 seconds straight. An agressively weak VeggieTales film is not going to be the thing that breaks me.
That said it was still a chore to get through. Even accounting for not being in the best headspace this week, every time I sat down to watch part of it drug on. For a film starring a bunch of vegtables who go back in time it's painfully boring.
In theory you COULD blame this on production: the idea was had at a bad time for Big Idea as they brocoli, celery gotta .. declare bankrputcy. Yeah it's always jarring to find out something key to your childhood, and sometimes your present day has something really dark attached, like when I watched the show SNapped and found out someone shot her husband in front of Charles Schultz Studio. You just.. never expect that sort of thing you know? So the film was planned for DTV till Universal swooped in and gave it distribution to a resounding
But really this is a company that has made TONS of great DTV films and half hours, has experince with these characters, and had already MADE one film. While it wasn't the film they originally wanted to make, execs rejected a bob and larry origin story ...
But they didn't half ass it, they put their heart into this film and into making it work and clearly took it seriously. It just.. didn't turn out good.
What really makes the film just not work for me is the story. The idea, despite being incredibly weird, is intresting and fun for an adventure movie: In this film our Pirates Who Don't Do Anything start as three cabin boys at a pirate dinner theater: Elliot (Larry) a timid but kind cucumber whose afraid of everything, Sedwick(Mr. Lunt), a selfish squash whose genius but also really lazy and self serving, and our lead George (Pa Grape) , a pushover whose own family has lost all respect for him. Things take a turn when they meet a blind seer foreshadowing the films plot.
Who is this guy? Is he god? A mutant with prophecy powers? The French Alps? We don't know> He's just sorta there, as the king sent him to test them and such. We'll get to him.
So our three heroes interpret the prohecy and trying out for the show, as George knows the lines and has the talent for it and Elliot was planning too anyway while Sedwick figures why not. And in typical stock comedy film fashion, it goes horribly wrong, their fired for the damages and left held low. I'm not against this sort of plot device as some truly great stories start this way, it just feels lazy here especially when the relization hit that a LOT of animated films use this, and as such I doubt any kid seeing this even fairly young ones woudln't of seen this done before and better. And as for me as a grown ass man whose seen this hundreds of times at this point..
So it dosen't start the film on the best foot. We go from an intro with a thrilling pirate adventure.. to three guys working at a dinner theater without that contrast really being as funny as it should be.
It picks up slightly when the main plot, which the film opens with, gets going: It's the golden age of piracy and Princess Elosie (A new character who WAS going to be Lara carrot, but it was decided she coudln't carry a film and I side with the creators on this one), and her butler Willory played by archibald esparigus, hide from Robert the Terrible, a pirate played expertly by Cam Clarke as he takes her brother. Robert plans to ransom the royal twosome to set their father up for bomb when he gets back from being away and with him away and without him they have no hope so they use his steampunk sphere, the helpseeker to find someone to help. Naturally it finds our three heroes who find a canoe, you know there's people who can teach you to buy one of those right fells and get stuck in the past. You likely can guess the drill from here: Our heroes decide to pretend to be heroes, Elliot convinces the others because he thinks it'll be easy and thus our quest begins..
With that we can talk about one of the films main problems: The characters feel really flat outside of Geroge. George, while not the DEEPEST character is still utterly likeable, a guy who lets people push him around way too much, has no self esteem, and whose family dosen't care about him. He's beaten down by life and his tendency to do what others tell him. While that isn't normal how he gets out of it and what he learns from it is fairly intresting: over the film he becomes a surrogate father to eloise, being the only one to take her belief in them seriously, and slowly but surely wanting to help her instead of just do what's easy, best shown durin ga montage played to the awful Newsboys Song "Yo Ho Hero", where he starts helping her. George slowly grows from a spineless.. er seedless wimp, to a hero, going out of his way to make sure the quest continues despite his allies, and later getting a hell of a moment when our heroes have to set out after eloise, Sedwick has left and the orb starts blinking, possibly meanin ga way home. As he puts it perfectly, he realizes why his kids don't respect him : he hasn't given them anything to respect. He hasn't tried to win it.. and if he's going to go back, if he can, he's going to be someone they can look up to, the kind of man who does the right thing even when it's far from easy and may get him killed. A hero.
The problem.. is the other two leads aren't great and the rest of the characters are pretty stock: Eloise is the optimist child who warms a characters heart, and a fairly subdued version, Archibald is a skeptic, Robert is a big bad guy who weirdly has limbs which somehow works despite this being veggitates because they look badass, Yuri Lowenthall as the Prince is the hostage... just basic characters. If this was JUST a special and not a movie, dtv or theatrical, i'd be fine with it. For an hour of story that wouldnt' be bad. But for 80 minutes of film, it's weak and Big IDea CAN do better. They have done deeper stories with Jonah, Esther The Girl Who Would Be King, Rack Shack and Benny, and laugh fests via the various shorts and action with the larry boy duology. The story is just too weak to have the characters this thin and the laughs are shockingly sparse. The story just isn't silly enough to be fun and isn't deep or epic enough to be thrilling.
As for those leads, Elliot is just kinda.. there. It does lead to him facing down a mecha sea monster with a sword. .but otherwise while he gets a moment or two (LIke him longingly starring back when Sedwick leaves the party, partly wanting to go.. but knowing i'ts not the right thing), but is mostly just.. there to move the plot along or mention a fear is on his list. Larry.. deserves better. As for Sedwick...
Sedwick is just obnoxious for the first 2/3 of the movie. He's lazy (which I can be sometimes), selfish, and cosntantly wants to bail. And while yeah he didn't ask for this adventure, a child is asking for his help.. and his response is to keep wanting to buck it or whine about his best friend you know, not doing that. I also don't get the sense he's REALLY geroge's friend as he gladly abuses the fact George is a pushover for his own benfit, earlier asking for barbeque sauce Sedwicks Girlfriend had asked for because it's too far for his "labor saving device", and it's telling I wans't remotely sad or conflicted when he left. And it's not great that I was rooting for the pile of sentient Cheeto's with teeth to murder him
Yeah that happens and it's one of the few jokes I liked in the film.
The two being such weak characters , as well as everyone else means I don't reallyc are what happens half the time. I only care about George because I LIKE him, the rest.. not so much. It dosen't help the action isn't funny or thrilling it's just.. there> There's no real sense of fun or adventure.. and this is a film that has a rock monster.. and a whole song about it at the end! I shoudln't be praying for death but death won't come!
It dosen't help the title.. has nothing to do with the premise. No really: our heroes are called that by a jerk and take it on as a way to gain Archibald I Forgot HIs Character Names trust, but they never sing the song or really play into the bit. And I get they can't be JUST the bit, that's fair: you can't have a character just be one thing and expect them to headline. It's why Shorsey fleshed the title character, who on letterkenny just showed up once in a while to be a dick and graphically talk about how he banged Jonsey and Riley's moms, out considerably giving him a backstory via his foster family, some friends he actualyl cares about and isn't a complete dick to, and a true love of hockey beyond being a vehicle for him to make your mom jokes. Here they just slapped a character trait on each of them, took out the part that actually made the title make sense or any sense of irony from that, and did it. It might of been better if they just cut out the present day stuff and had them as actual pirates who don't do anything with similar character arcs. George is the only character I feel would've suffered, but he could still have a family and such. Being a pirate dosen't mean you can't have kids. It just means you may not see them often and he dosen't do anything, so why would he have been that far up to this movie.
Finally we have the finale
It's a mess, slow, plodding an dthey fight robert THREE TIMES. I'm not kidding he gets beat THREE times: first when George decides to do something and drops a chandelear on him, which is awesome, then again when their chased, and about to die while in a rowboat
Enter the king who saves them. And the creators apparently tried to justify this on dvd commentary with "Well it's a bible parable"
Like.. out of all the VeggieTales projects this one has the least to do about jesus. I get the King's a metaphor for god or something, but ti dosen't work. he's a guy. He's not our lord and savior. Elloise is not Lady Jesus. I'd watch a series named Lady Jesus, someone greenlight that yesterday, but that's not the point. The point is this makes no sense and is a cheap way for them to KINDA beat robert.. but not really because as our heroes get star wars medals and a wizard of oz message about how good they are, they get sent home.. with robert hitching a ride.
So we get a THIRD climax, as our heroes have to fight Robert at the dinner theater. And while I do feel this is necessary, as our heroes need to win the day in front of everybody and get their jobs back, though weirdly refuse a promotion, it dosen't feel like really a proper climax. They just... drop a canoe on robert and send him home. There's no real tension or anything. Our heroes win, the helpseeker beeps again setting up a sequel
And we're out with a fun parody of Rock Lobster, Rock Monster. By the way this film had rock monsters. I liked them but didn't have much to say about them.
Overall this flim is just.. not great. And not even in a memorable way. It's just kinda there and you'll forget it not long after you see it. It's not really worth checking out, isn't streaming anywhere, and isn't worth your time. But thank you for taking the time to read this, feel free to dm me if you'd like to comission a review yourself, and i'll see you next time.
#veggietales#the pirates who don't do anything#universal#cam clarke#yuri lowenthal#larry the cucumber#pa grape#mr.lunt#Youtube#animation
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